25 Aug 2014

LESBIAN ROMANCE RULES - Jack & Diane (2012)

Films have formulas and rules, but how well do films follow those formulas?  What about Lesbian Romance films, do they follows a strict formula and a set of rules?

Jack & Diane (2012) is a supposed horror film about two girls who meet and fall in love.

The following analysis may contain spoilers for

JACK & DIANE (2012)

"Why are you so experienced?" ~ Diane.
"I don't know... I'm not...  I've had some training." - Jack.

RULE #1 - A Coming Out Story

Diane Lane is the feminine looking one point of view character for the first half of the film but becomes shared between the two after that. There's nothing to say she's straight or gay or any sexual before meeting Jack, so it's hard to say she's coming out.  She does have a young, innocent look which implies pre-sexual. She tells her aunt that her mother knows she's likes girls, but that could be a lie but she does have "the male gaze" going on imediately. However, she has less sexual experience than Jack and that hurts the relationship.

RULE #2 - There May Be T&A

Mostly suggested nudity, but Diane's boobs are seen a little bit.

The couple kiss often, masturbate (under clothes) while thinking of each other and there is an aborted attempt at sex.

RULE #3 - Unsatisfied

Diane seems to be disconnected from the world, living in a malaise.  There's no sign of a boyfriend to be unsatisfied with.  Diane is going to Paris for school, but not because she wants to but because Karen thinks that she is holding Diane back.

RULE #4 - Enter the Lesbian

Jack is has the cute-dyke thing going.  The masculine clothes, beer drinking.  Heck, they even went with the male name.  She has experience with getting into clubs implying experience and likes sushi, which I'm sure implies something.  She has an intimate moment (perhaps more) with Tara and there's an implied history there.  She's claims she not "so experienced" but (with a smile) "had some training" fitting her nicely into the "out-lesbian" category.

RULE #5 - Just Good Friends

Don't spend any real time as just friends.  They hang out briefly but then go clubbing and make out.  Diane never tries to justify the relationship as being just friends (she tells her twin sister that Jack's her "sort of girlfriend.)

RULE #6 - Rejection By Friends and Family

Diane is in trouble and grounded by her aunt Linda for being out all night.  Linda reacts badly to finding out that Diane likes girls, but that really goes no further.  Linda arrives home early to find them partying and lets them share a room for sex, so no rejection (but some discomfort).  Diane's twin, Karen, freaks out when she's pretending to be Diane and Jack suggests phone sex, but it also goes nowhere.

RULE #7 - Will They, Won't They/On Again, Off Again

The relationship is pretty awkward, with both seeming unable to express their feelings directly.Jack gets upset when she finds out Diane is leaving for France.  The relationship suffers highs and lows at this point.
Their relationship is mostly kissing.  When it progresses to more Diane's inexperience cuts it short.

RULE #8 - Redemption/Acceptance

Not applicable.

RULE #9 - Happily Ever After?

Jack dreams that she is attack by a monster (possibly decaying tumor-covered mutant werewolf thing) and Diane dreams that she eats Jack ("no, it wasn't like that.")  Later Diane seems to get attacked by the mutant werewolf thing, but then doesn't seem to be.  It's probably a metaphor for the insane lesbian killer thing but it's never really executed well. Diane leaves for France as planned, but they the goodbyes end badly, however, Jack does send Diane the tape Jack's brother made which to Jack symbolises true love (The Flying Picket's version of Yazoo's "Only You.")

RULE #10 - No Sequels

No sequels, not a film liked by many people so no one is really clamouring for it, either.


  • Rules that are followed in this film:  2, 4, 10.
  • Rules that are partially followed, or not clear, in this film:  1, 3, 5, 6, 7.
  • Rules not followed by the film:  9.
  • Rule not applied to this film:  8.
~ DUG.
Remember to do the survey to determine the fourth genre to be tested. Check out the schedule for upcoming Film Rules films to be reviewed. Also a question for the comments...  Do people prefer the alternating between 2 sets of rules or would they like to see one set finished before the next starts?

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