CHRISTMAS MOVIES RULES - The Muppet Christmas Carol (1992)

 Film genres have formulas and rules, but how well do Christmas films follow their formula?

The Muppet Christmas Carol (1992) is, pretty obviously, a Muppet adaptation of Charles Dickens' A Christmas Carol.

The following may contain spoilers for

"The Muppets Christmas Carol" (1992)

RULE #1 - CHARACTERS

"Please. Can I have your attention for a moment?

Look. It's the Marley brothers... my old partners as they were as lads." ~ Ebenezer Scrooge.

• 1a.  Someone Who Hates Christmas - An adaptation of A Christmas Carol, so Scrooge.
• 1b.  Someone Who Inflicts Christmas Cheer on Others - Fred, Scrooge's nephew does so.  And Scrooge himself at the end.
• 1c.  Precocious Kids - Belinda and Betina Cratchit, but only minor characters.
• 1d.  A Bullied Kid - Not kids, but all of Scrooge's staff.
• 1e.  Silver-haired jovial old person - Scrooge, but only at the end.
• 1f.  Someone with a secret - The ghosts, I guess.
• 1g.  Stressed Young Female - Emily Cratchit, although Miss Piggy is getting on in years.
• 1h.  The Single - Scrooge.  Also Belle in the flashbacks.
• 1i.  Someone Career Obsessed - Scrooge, especially young Scrooge.
• 1j.  Grumpy Old (usually) Man - So as to not mention Scrooge, yet again, the Marleys (With Waldorf and Statler playing against type.
• 1k.  Sassy Old (usually) Woman - Fred's wife, Clara, although not old.
• 1l.  An Inappropriate Santa Impersonator - The Ghost of Christmas Present is a folkloric version of Santa Claus.  It's forgetful, but not inappropriate.

It's not what it looks like.

RULE #2 - SEX & NUDITY

"I fell down the chimney and landed on a flaming hot goose!" ~ Rizzo the Rat.

"You have all the fun!" ~ Gonzo.

• 2a. Nudity - None.  Except for some of the animal muppets who played non-anthropomorphised animals.  And they don't count.
• 2b.  Sex - None. 

RULE #3 - PLOTS

"Are these the shadows of things that will be... or are they the shadows of things that may be only?  These events can be changed.  A life can be made right." ~ Scrooge.

• 3a.  Home for the holidays - Doesn't happen..
• 3b.  Santa may be real - No,
• 3c.  Classic Christmas stories may be homaged:

ii.  A Christmas Carol - An adaption of the story.

They're singing again.

RULE #4 - GENRE

"Boy, that's scary stuff! Should we be worried about the kids in the audience?" ~ Rizzo the Rat.

"Nah, it's all right. This is culture!" ~ Gonzo.

• 4a.  Straight comedy - Doesn't happen, closer to a straight adaptation.
• 4b.  Bitter-sweet family drama-comedy - Doesn't happen.
• 4c.  Animated fantasy (or puppets/muppets) - Muppets.
• 4d.  Bible retelling - Doesn't happen.
• A musical.

Does pagan Santa count as Santa?

RULE #5 - EXPECTED EVENTS

"I don't think I've ever met anybody like you before." ~ Scrooge.

"Really? Over 1800 of my brothers have come before me!" ~ Ghost of Christmas Present.

One or more of the following will occur:

• 5a.  Ugly Christmas sweaters - Doesn't happen.
• 5b.  Pulling Santa's beard - No Santa.
• 5c.  Carolers are annoying - True, but not covered.  (It's a musical, though, and that can be annoying).
• 5d.  Some kind of competition - Doesn't happen.
• 5e.  Mistletoe - Doesn't happen.

Clearly an early example of CGI being used to de-age actors.

RULE #6 - UNEXPECTED DIFFICULTIES

"Do you know whether the prize turkey has been sold in the window?" ~ Scrooge.

"Oh. The one twice as big as me? It's still there." ~ Lad.

"Oh, it's a pleasure talking with you, Lad. Go and buy it."  ~ Scrooge.

"Be serious." ~ Lad.

The following simple things are difficult, often comically so:

• 6a.  Putting Up Christmas lights - Doesn't happen.
• 6b.  Not walking out after a fight with family - Doesn't happen.
• 6c.  Last minute gift purchasing - Scrooge, a little, though he seems to get away with it.
• 6d.  Assembling Christmas gifts - Doesn't happen.
• 6e.  Cooking - Piggy does, but it's not a strong plot.
• 6f.  Attempts to get home for Christmas - Doesn't happen.
• 6g.  Even a getting and putting up a Christmas tree can lead to disaster - Doesn't happen.
• 6h.  Other - Nil.

There's nothing creepy about an ethereal young girl at all.

RULE #7 - RELIGION

"I told you, storytellers are omniscient; I know everything!" ~ Gonzo.

"Hoity-toity, Mr. Godlike Smarty-Pants." ~ Rizzo the Rat.

• 7a.  Nativity/Little religion - No religion.
• 7b.  Accept non-Christians into the celebration - Doesn't happen.
• 7c.  An annoying overly religious person - Nope.
• 7d.  Angels - Ghosts instead.  The Ghost of Christmas Past is a vaguely angelic ghost.  The Ghost of Christmases Yet-to-Come is very angel of deathy.

It's not often you get to walk on your own grave.

RULE #8 - ENDING

"Yes, the time has come for us to say goodbye." (Sung).

At least one of the following will happen:

• 8a.  Snow -  Snow throughout.  It's based on Dickens.
• 8b.  Grump-No-More - Scrooge, as is his role.
• 8c.  Santa is Real - No really covered.
• 8d.  The Unexpected Extra Guest - Scrooge counts, although he invites himself and brings food.
• 8e.  Wisdom From an Unexpected Source - If ghosts are unexpected, I guess.
• 8f.  The Single Will Find Love - Doesn't happen.

Everyone seems so shocked about how shiny the turkey is.

RULE #9 - HAPPY ENDING

"God bless us." ~ Tiny Tim

"God bless us. Every one!" ~ Scrooge.

Will have a sickly sweet ending with a "The True Meaning of Christmas" message - especially:

• 9a.  Family is the most important thing - The message of the Cratchit family.
• 9b.  Miracles are real - The ghosts probably count.  Some would call Scrooge's personality change a miracle.
• 9c.  It's the thought that counts - No really covered.
• 9d.  Santa is real - I've told you once already.
• 9e.  Other - About being a better person and being nicer to people.

Other Muppet movies.

RULE #10 - SEQUELS

"Nice story. Mr Dickens." ~ Riso the Rat.

"Oh. Thanks. If you like this you should read the book." ~ Gonzo.

• 10a.  No sequels - No sequel (part of the mostly unrelated Muppet films).
• 10b.  May be a sequel - Not a sequel (part of the mostly unrelated Muppet films).
• 10c.  Remake - An adaptation not a remake.
• 10d.  Adaptation - Of Charles Dicken's novel.

RESULTS

"I've been going over the accounts. Do you know how much the firm is spending for this party?" ~ Scrooge.

• Rules followed by this film:  1, 2, 3, 4, 9, 10.
• Rules partially followed by this film:  6, 7, 8.
• Rules not followed by this film:  5.

You expected a welcome at the top of the post?

~ DUG.

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